What it means to me

It has taken me 27 years to get to this point. It is now or never for me, and I choose now. I am ready to shine. I am ready to start dancing in line at the grocery store, haha that would be great. I am ready to meet like minded individuals who share the same passions and values as I do. I am ready to step into my power of potential and use it. I am ready to create, beautify and accept. I know that stepping into the unknown, giving my fears a chance to be heard, and then letting them go. I am sending a signal to the universe, I am truly ready for the adventure of a life time. It will start to happen, people, things, creations will come and be just as they are supposed to be. It will take shape and form, the story will start writing itself. I am but a player it, a character. It is not only about me but you as well. 

There is a part of me that I feel I have held back, for fear of being judged or fear of not being good enough. If I stop and realize that my art, my creations, I do them because it makes me feel great inside and I can live with that. I am not doing my art for your approval or nod, or to copy and compete with others. I just want to be me, and to do what feeds my spirit, with this I can go to bed a happy girl. I love to see the art that is out there in the world, it inspires me to go home dig in all my boxes of collected goodies and produce something that captures that moment or at least the essence of it. I cannot help if others judge me, or use what I produce against me for the only thing they are trying to hurt is my ego. And I have come to realize that egos are pretty useless for the kind of pain we put our own selves through. To try and be accepted, loved, to fit in, understood or to be the perfect "skinny weight", I don't want to fit it. It is okay if you do not understand me or believe in me. I love myself and that is the only kind of love that is fulfilling, not placing our happiness in others, because at some point we will be disappointed or feel unloved.  Which then triggers the best friend of the ego, the pain body. And we have all had experiences with the pain body and they are not too fun. I am starting to realize that all of my needs, want, desires, and love I can give to myself, and what I get from others is icing to my yummy cake (me).

This blog that I started is a space just for me, to share my thoughts and creations with others who genuinely care about making this world a better more beautiful place. A space where imagination, and beautiful things can flourish into what they want, instead of what is expected. A place where I can unplug from daily life, and place where I can free fall down the white rabbit hole and just be, to explore my mind to poke around in all the corners to say what is on my mind. A place to let my imagination BE FREE, like a horse running with wind. Not to question what I am thinking or doing, but just a place to soak in all that runs through my mind, and create it. A place to get and give inspiration.

 You look around the internet and our whole world is at our finger tips good and bad. There is much negative being spread, "with all the gossip magazines" as well as sick twisted websites that are available, I could go on, but won't. I realize that there is always a battle going on between good and evil, between light and dark, not only on the internet but in every aspect of life. There is even a battle of good and dark within myself, I am far from perfect, but I am tired of people putting others down or finding fault. I am ready to accept others for who they are and their choices. I will also stand up for what I believe in, my values, and for me. I am ready to detach from the EGO, an extension of myself that really isn't what I am about, what my soul is about. I understand that I will get tested probably everyday with this, sometimes I will pass and can accept that I will probably fail some tests. My feat that will be continuous  is realizing is if it is me talking or if it my ego talking. If I can tell the difference between the two, the next step can be taken. I do not wish to add any more negativity then there already is in this world. I just want to create beautiful things, with paper, paint, canvas, sparkles, ribbons, and jewelry that rocks my world. I want to add my corner to the world, but then again it isn't really "mine" is it?