Friday, May 23, 2008
Stuck
I have found that since I have started back working to have a regular paycheck coming in, I have been rather stuck in being creative. I come home and just don't know what to do with myself. I never cease to amaze myself in how complex I can make things. Sometimes I make it as simple as if you want to do it, then do it. Just you have to pee? Then pee, or if you are thirsty, then drink water. Want to paint then pull all your paint shit out and just do and quit thinking about it. Other times it just doesn't seem so easy. I have come to find that I am my own worst nightmare. I block myself from what it is that I am wanting to do. Why? Most of my life I have been close to, around, near or right on the edge of the cliff, but in the end I haven't jumped. I haven't allowed myself to be fully submersed in the faith of my own creativity. I feel as if I have only played with the first couple of layers of creativity that I am wrapped in. I know that I am go deeper much, much deeper. I am just trying to understand why I block or stop myself in the process. I find that if I stop thinking and just start doing, some how the situation that is going round and round in my head, suddenly it gets quiet. Crickets all I want to hear is crickets and rainfall right now....
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